(A space camper van, orbiting a planet. Inside are the boys - Tad, Enox, and Gibble - and the girls Kanana and Laleen)
ENOX: Hey, Gibble - you wanna party?
LALEEN: Yeah, come on Gibble - you wanna party, don't ya?
(Tad and Gibble are checking the cryocapsules. They join the others)
TAD: Yeah. So all we gotta do is cryosleep now, set a wake up signal, and in a couple of days we'll be there. What could possibly go wrong?
GIBBLE: You guys have no idea what you're doing
ALL: Come on, Gibble
(The others persuade Gibble to sit down at the shuttle's controls, while they gather round)
TAD: OK - we're being recorded
ENOX: No we're not, you have to press that one to record
KANANA: Why don't we let the auto signal take us in? It's all pre-set
ENOX: Do you want to go through all that camp customs introductory "Do this, do that" crap again?
KANANA: No, but -
GIBBLE: This is my dad's transport, and if we break something -
ENOX: Shut up fatty
TAD: All right - so I hit the record button, and then you transmit the code
(Tad and Enox punch some buttons)
GIBBLE: Tad - that's the camera
(On the Lexx, Stan, Xev and 790 are watching a recording of this)
LALEEN: Are you sure we got it right?
ENOX: Like I said, if I was wrong we'd be being recorded right now, but we're not, so -
TAD: All right! Everyone cryocrash now and before you know it we'll be partying like stink
ALL: Party like stink, stink, stink! Party like stink! Woo hoo!
(The shuttle floating in space now is discoloured and older - a lot older)
790: I believe they were attempting to customise a code intended to trigger a wake up signal once their vessel reached its destination, but as a result of their tampering no code was ever transmitted, no signal ever sent. They never woke up
STAN: Oh, stupid kids. Stupid, stupid kids
XEV: How long have they been drifting?
790: 287 years
STAN: Whoa! They're dead
XEV: Maybe not
XEV: Let's find out
STAN: Whoa, why? Let them rot
XEV: They're just kids
790: With terminal freezer burn
(790 switches off)
STAN: What if it's a trap?
XEV: I'm a big girl, and there's you
STAN: Oh no. No no no. Not me. Take Kai
XEV: Well, I'm up for it - and Kai, he's only got a limited supply of protoblood, when it's gone, he's gone. We can't waste it on every little thing so come on, let's go
STAN: No! Sorry
XEV: OK. Bye then
(She leaves the bridge)
STAN: Oh, Xev -
(Shot of a moth flying low over the Lexx's eye. Xev enters the shuttle. It's dark, and the kids are all in cryosleep. Xev uses a torch to examine the controls. She defrosts Gibble, and shines the torch in his eyes)
GIBBLE: Oh - who are you?
XEV: Sorry (turns torch off) My name's Xev
GIBBLE: Hi - I'm Gibble. Are you a camp counsellor?
XEV: No, no - we received your signal
GIBBLE: Oh, the auto signal
XEV: Yeah, a signal that was recorded a long time ago
GIBBLE: A long time ago?
XEV: Well, obviously there was a problem, and we found you drifting in space
GIBBLE: You mean, more than a couple of days drifting?
XEV: Yeah - about 300 years
GIBBLE: My dad's gonna be so pissed!
(The moth flies back to the Lexx. Stan ushers the kids onto the bridge)
STAN: OK, come on, right this way kids, come on, watch your step there. Hey - beats your beater, huh?
ENOX: Check it out!
(Stan gets up onto the pedestal - 790 is sitting at the base)
STAN: Yeah. Listen, just drop your stuff anywhere, anywhere at all. That's good, that's fine there. OK, come on, come on. Gather round, come on, come on. Now - this is the bridge, from where I - and only I - control the Lexx
LALEEN: Totally oooo, like - ah!
STAN: Yeah, exactly, yeah. Lexx - say "Hello guests"
LEXX: Hello guests
GIBBLE: Wow. A talking ship
(Gibble takes a bite of his chocolate - then Tad steals it)
STAN: Yeah, see - Lexx is alive. He's still growing
790: Make yourselves at home, why don't you?
TAD: Check it out, a talking robot - head
790: I'm 790, punk - and I don't like you, any of you. If you come near me I will incinerate you with lasers from my eyes
(An image of laser sights appears in 790's eyes)
XEV: No you won't - because he can't. 790, behave
790: I'm only trying to protect you
ENOX: The gang'll never believe this
KANANA: That's because the gang are all gone
KANANA: After 300 years, everyone is long gone
(The tour moves onto the cryochamber)
STAN: Now, this is the cryochamber. Now - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
(Stan holds Enox back)
STAN: Now I'm only gonna say this once. Do not - I repeat - do not touch anything in this room
(Enox leans on the cryopod for a closer look)
STAN: This is Kai
LALEEN: Major babe alert!
(Enox kisses Laleen)
TAD: He's weird
STAN: He's dead - well, he's, he's not exactly dead. He's, umm, alive dead
GIBBLE: Alive dead?
(Gibble tries to get a closer look, but Enox pinches his nipple)
STAN: And what's more, he's an assassin, he's extremely dangerous
(Xev squeezes past Tad, who enjoys it - Kanana doesn't)
XEV: He's a good assassin. In fact, he' a hero, who has saved our lives, many times
ENOX: Well, let's wake him up!
STAN: Not a chance
XEV: Kai only lives on because of special protoblood. It's precious, and must be carefully conserved
ENOX: Come on! Just for a minute
STAN: Out of the question
(Laleen knocks on the cryopod - Stan moves her away)
STAN: Xev, er, Xev, er - why don't you take 'em to the galley?
XEV: Sure - this way
GIBBLE: Yes, please!
STAN: Oh boy
(In the galley, a nozzle squirts green goo into a bowl)
LALEEN: Retchfest maximus!
(Gibble tastes some of the goo)
GIBBLE: This is awesome!
ENOX: You would say that, wouldn't you, porko
KANANA: Leave him alone, Enox
ENOX: What's stuck in your hole?
KANANA: You shouldn't criticise others when this whole thing is your fault
TAD: She's right Enox
LALEEN: As I recall Tad, everything was humming along until -
ENOX: Yeah, everything was humming until you messed things up
TAD: You know what Enox? I am so tired of you. My only mistake was letting you near the controls
(They stare at each other. Enox flicks goo on Tad's face. Tad grabs him, but Xev separates them)
XEV: Hey - enough, that's enough! Cool down. This is a difficult time for all of you, so try to keep it together
(Tad whispers something in Xev's ear)
KANANA: What's to become of us?
XEV: I don't know but we'll try and make the best of things while we figure that out, OK? Come with me
(Xev leads Tad away - to the toilets)
XEV: Here we are
TAD: Where's the toilet?
TAD: That's the toilet?
XEV: The, umm - sensation - takes a little getting used to. Watch
(She takes something from his pocket, throws it into the toilet. A huge tongue comes out and licks the rim)
TAD: I don't think I need to go that badly
(Later, on the bridge. Enox is spray painting a jacket. Kanana is chatting with Xev)
KANANA: See, me and the gang and Tad - he's my boyfriend - sorta. We were all headed for planet Momo 13. There's this beautiful lake there - Lake Kismekisme - the number one party spot
ENOX: Give us a wet one, Kanana
KANANA: In your dreams, Enox! Anyway, a bunch of campers got killed there once
KANANA: Mmhmm. By the Kisme Kid Carver. He slashed their throats and cut open their stomachs
VOICE: And he's right behind you, ha ha!
(Kanana jumps - it's Tad, on a squawker, behind her)
TAD: Just checking to see if the blabbers still work
KANANA: You scared me
TAD: Well, why don't you hold yours close to your skin, in case I want to call you up and talk dirty? Relax, baby, the Carver never got us. But he might if he ever got out of prison
KANANA: Yeah - he's dead - like everyone else
(Stan walks onto the bridge, followed by his fan club - Laleen and Gibble)
STAN: - then I bring the Lexx in, and I blast the planet with the bug still inside and, ah, rescue Xev, and basically saved the universe
LALEEN: You're totally testosterone blammo action man!
(She playfully punches Stan's arm)
STAN: Yeah, I guess, you know, it's uh -
790: Did you say you were from Bingo 44, toots?
790: That was a Reform planet. Stanley Tweedle caused it to be destroyed. He murdered everyone you ever loved - or more accurately, their descendants!
(Stan takes 790, puts him down on the floor by the pedestal, and treads on him)
790: Unhand me, you pederast!
STAN: Ah - ignore him. He's due for a rewiring
790: Get your foot off my face!
GIBBLE: Captain Tweedle, sir -
(Stan holds out his hand, then pulls it away as Gibble is about to shake it. They laugh)
STAN: Call me Stan, kid
GIBBLE: Stan, so - let me get this straight - you're the only one that can control this ship?
STAN: Uh huh
ENOX: Look what I got!
(It's some sort of drink and beakers)
ALL: Woo hoo!
ENOX: And Gibble's got a dozen hits of gongslanger root!
(Enox takes it out of Gibble's trousers)
ALL: All right!
GIBBLE: Gongslanger root! I don't do that stuff
(Enox starts to hand it out to the others)
TAD: Well, we do! Way to go, Gibble!
STAN: What is it, what, what's that?
ENOX: This is fun, mister!
LALEEN: And this is fun's friend
(Laleen gives Stan a drink. He sniffs it dubiously. Enox offers Xev some gongslanger)
XEV: No thanks, I'm not hungry
(Enox gives the rest of it back to Gibble)
ENOX: Guard the rest of these till we ask for 'em. Take one if you want. Take two in fact - handling charge
(Stan tries the drink, pulls a face. Tad gets out a stereo)
ALL: Stink, man stink!
Party like stink, stink, stink!
Party like stink, stink, stink!
Party like stink!
(The party begins. Gibble goes off into the corridors)
GIBBLE: I can't believe Enox did that. I can't believe it!
(The kids are now dancing, Stan and Xev watching. Gibble is on the toilet)
GIBBLE: The gongslanger root - he hid it on me
(He drops the gongslanger down the toilet)
(Later, the party is winding down. Kanana is in her sleeping bag, Tad gets in beside her. Gibble returns to the bridge, has a drink, and tries to dance with Laleen)
LALEEN: Blow, Gibble
(She spills Gibble's drink on him. Xev is inspecting a tattoo on Enox's arm)
XEV: You did this yourself?
ENOX: So, yeah - I consider myself an artist
XEV: Oh, yeah?
(Stan is leaning on the pedestal. Laleen comes up behind him, and starts to touch him)
LALEEN: Don't you ever get lonely, Captain?
STAN: Oh, er - I gotta go to bed. Goodnight
XEV: Nighty night
STAN: Goodnight, Laleen. Oh boy
XEV: I'm tired too
ENOX: Lay down out here. We can keep talking
ENOX: Come on Xev - stay and party. I feel like you and me are really starting to connect
(Xev strokes his cheek. Laleen is watching, but turns away)
XEV: Get some sleep, Enox. Goodnight
790: Good riddance, adolescent scum
XEV: You're rude!
790: You're stunning
(Xev takes 790 away with her. Enox goes over to Laleen, pulls her to him)
ENOX: Gettin boff and wiggly, babe. Definitely connectable
(Laleen pushes him away)
LALEEN: Screw you! I saw you hitting on her
ENOX: I wasn't! Anyway, I saw you giving mister captain the "come do me" eye
LALEEN: I was getting back at you!
ENOX: Face it Laleen - you're a slut
LALEEN: You're the slut!
ENOX: You are! And a lousy lay, too
LALEEN: You pig!
(She tries to slap him)
KANANA: Enox, you are a pig!
TAD: Yeah, a giga-pig
ENOX: Eat me, and die! You guys make me sick. Come on, Gibble, let's take a walk
(Enox drags Gibble away with him)
KANANA: He's such a zorg when he's goofed
TAD: I know
KANANA: And don't think I didn't catch you looking at Xev too
TAD: Come on - she's hot - but you're hotter
(They kiss. Meanwhile, Enox drags Gibble down a corridor)
ENOX: Come on, Gibble!
(Kanana breaks off the kiss)
KANANA: No, Tad - don't
TAD: Come on, Kanana
KANANA: I'm not ready
TAD: Look, it's been three centuries. We're all we've got now
KANANA: I know. I just need some time to work things out. You understand, don't you?
KANANA: Anyway - I'm fried. You wouldn't want me like this, would you?
KANANA: I love you (kisses him) Soon
(She lies down to sleep)
(In the cryochamber, Enox draws a skull on the cryopod, then starts playing with the controls)
GIBBLE: Enox - what are you doing?
ENOX: Waking the assassin, what does it look like?
GIBBLE: The captain told us not to touch anything!
ENOX: Don't be such a bed wetter
GIBBLE: We're gonna get in trouble
ENOX: Back off lardass!
GIBBLE: What if he really gets up and does all -
(Enox grabs his face)
ENOX: Don't be stupid. The stiff is nothing more than a maggot retirement home
GIBBLE: I guess
(Enox knocks on the cryopod)
ENOX: Hey - bunhead, can you hear me? Look, if you're really an assassin, do a job for me, will ya? Kill Tad - he deserves it for being in my face and on my case
GIBBLE: You shouldn't be hitting that glass
ENOX: And take out his girlfriend Kanana too, huh - sanctimonious cow. And do Laleen while you're at it
ENOX: Yeah, two less skanks in the cosmos. And make sure you take a good bite into my fat friend Gibble here
(Enox bites Gibble)
GIBBLE: Me! You! He should kill you. Kill him
ENOX: And Xev - she doesn't know a stud when she sees one. And Stan, because, because he's like - over thirty! Kill everyone, man! Go on a rampage!
GIBBLE: Like the Kisme Kid Carver?
ENOX: Exactly. Stalk 'em and stuff
ENOX: Waste 'em one at a time, in cool ways. Be sick. Do some fast, some slow. Have fun. Go major psycho
(Stan comes into the cryochamber)
STAN: Hey! What are you kids doing here?
STAN: Didn't I tell you kids he was dangerous?
ENOX: I'm not a kid
STAN: And I told you not to touch anything!
(Stan checks the cryopod controls)
STAN: You've already proven that you're inept with technology
ENOX: We didn't touch nothing
GIBBLE: We were just taking a look
ENOX: So why don't you mellow down, dad?
STAN: You get out of here, boy. Go to bed!
GIBBLE: Yes sir. Sorry sir
(Gibble leaves. Enox grins, and follows him. Stan is not amused)
STAN: Stupid kids
(Stan leaves. Kai's eyes open - they are yellow)
(In the corridor, Enox jumps onto Gibble's back)
ENOX: Giddy up!
(They go onto the bridge, and run into Tad)
ENOX: You are so dead, man
(Tad leaves the bridge)
(Xev is exercising in her bedchamber, when Tad comes in)
TAD: Sorry, Xev. Did I scare you?
790: Yes you did! Dismember him, darling
(Xev kicks 790 with her foot, and he switches off)
XEV: What are you doing here?
TAD: Err - that's a good question, I guess - I thought this was the can
(Xev lies on the bed, looking at him. Tad sits down beside her)
TAD: Things aren't working out with me and Kanana. I mean, she's nice and everything, but a little too nice, if you know what I mean. She won't - you know
TAD: You know -
XEV: And what does that have to do with me?
TAD: Well, I, er, I thought - I mean, I guess - Xev, you're a woman
(Xev kneels on the bed next to him)
TAD: And, er, I'm a man. Kanana's a girl. You're beautiful
(Tad goes to stroke Xev's face, but she holds his hand away)
XEV: You're very nice too, Tad, but I think you better talk to your girlfriend first
TAD: Ah, to hell with her!
(Tad pulls Xev down on the bed with him. They hear a voice - )
KANANA: Tad, where are you?
( - and Kanana walks in on them)
KANANA: Oh, Tad. You bastard
(Kanana runs away)
(Tad runs after Kanana. Xev flops back into bed)
(Laleen is alone in a corridor. She hears Tad)
TAD: Kanana! Kanana!
LALEEN: Love leaks puke juice
(Tad has wandered into the toilet)
TAD: What am I supposed to do, hold out forever? I need sex - and a major dump
(Tad sits down on the toilet. The cubicle next door licks. Tad takes out his blabber)
TAD: Hello? Who's there? Freaky crapper, man
(Xev is lying on her bed, when Kanana jumps on her)
KANANA: You bitch! You're trying to steal my boyfriend!
XEV: Calm down! You're wrong, I didn't do anything
790: Butcheress! Unhand my woman!
XEV: 790, stay off! I'm telling the truth. He grabbed me. Come on. Cool it, OK?
TAD: Tad to Kanana? Tad to Kanana?
(Kanana's blabber is lying on Xev's bed, so they can hear him)
KANANA: (whispers) I'm not here!
TAD: Look, if you're receiving this - I'm sorry baby. Talk to me! Come on
(Kanana makes a vomit gesture. She and Xev laugh)
TAD: Pick up the blabber baby, just talk to me
KANANA: Are all men that slimy?
TAD: Look, I'm really sorry
XEV: Good ones are hard to find
TAD: Just come on, pick it up, pick up the blabber. I just wanna talk, that's all
XEV: At least, live ones
TAD: Come on, pick it up! I love you, it's just that I get frustrated sometimes. Please Kanana? Please?
(Tad hears a voice on the blabber - but it's not Kanana)
KAI: Please Kanana? Please? You didn't treat her right, Tad. You're a bad boyfriend, so she dumped you, just like I'm gonna do
TAD: Who is this? Enox, I'm gonna tear you apart
KAI: Who is it? Enox? - you're never gonna see Enox again, Tad. Or Kanana, Tad. Or anyone else for that matter, Tad (laughs) TAD: Oh yeah? Well, I'm shaking so bad, I can't finish my poopoo! Enox - you are so dead, man
(Tad turns the blabber off, and finishes his poopoo. Kai rises up out of the toilet next door. His hair is down and dishevelled. He readies his brace. Tad sees his shadow on the membrane dividing the cubicles)
KAI: You are so dead, man
(Kai rips the membrane and dives through at Tad)
(Meanwhile, on the bridge, Enox is drawing a skull on a bag which is hanging from the pedestal)
GIBBLE: That's Tad's
ENOX: Just go take a leak
(Gibble leaves. Enox admires his handiwork)
(Laleen is walking along a passageway when she hears a voice)
KAI: Laleen. La-leeeene!
(Laleen stops, looks behind her, hears a laugh)
KAI: I'm coming
(Laleen stops again, and a hand taps her on the shoulder - but it's only Stan)
STAN: Ah! Sheesh! Hi - take it easy, little lady. What's wrong?
LALEEN: I thought I heard someone calling my name - it was evil
STAN: Oh no, it's this ship, makes all kinds of funny noises, I mean it was just your imagination
LALEEN: I don't know, it sounded - you're probably right. I scare easy
STAN: Yeah, well - hey, look, you want me to walk you back to the bridge?
LALEEN: I don't wanna go back there
LALEEN: I'd rather stay with you, Captain
(Laleen puts her hand on Stan's shoulder)
STAN: Oh, well, yeah, ah, look, I don't know if that'd be, ah -
LALEEN: What's wrong?
(She rubs his chest)
STAN: - such a good idea. Wrong? Nothing, nothing wrong, nothing, everything. Oh look - look, see it's just, um, look er honey, er, I, I, I, I think you're just a little young, is all
LALEEN: I'm three centuries older than you are
(Stan thinks about this - for all of three seconds)
(Gibble is in the toilet, when a body emerges)
GIBBLE: Is that you Tad?
(Gibble runs back onto the bridge)
GIBBLE: Enox, I did something terrible. I killed Tad. The gongslanger root, I dropped it in the toilet and Tad went in there and then the toilet went mental and killed him - it's my fault
ENOX: Great story, Gibble. Why don't you grab some food - it'll calm you down
(Distraught, Gibble goes to the galley)
GIBBLE: Killed Tad - killed Tad
(He sits down by the nozzle)
GIBBLE: I need food, and a lot of it
(The nozzle squirts him a bowl of green goo)
GIBBLE: Nobody takes me seriously
(Back in Xev's bedchamber)
KANANA: So do you think I should save myself until I'm ready?
XEV: Well, I think I'm really the wrong person to ask
KANANA: Do you love anyone, Xev?
XEV: That's a long story, and I'm beat. Do you wanna sleep here?
KANANA: Thanks, but no. Maybe Tad and I can work things out
XEV: Good idea. Nighty night
(Back in the galley, Gibble is eating. A shadow moves behind him, and there's a laugh. Gibble looks, sees nothing, carries on eating - then something grabs his spoon from inside the bowl. A hand comes up out of the bowl and grabs his mouth)
KAI: You know what, Gibble? You're a rotten kid. You dumped gongslanger into the toilet, and you wake the dead. And when you wake the dead, fatso, form dictates, you join 'em! Eat up! Chow down!
(Kai's hand pulls Gibble's head into the bowl of goo. Gibble struggles, but to no avail)
(Stan's bedchamber. Laleen is looking for him - he's hiding behind his moth bed)
STAN: I'm coming to getcha
LALEEN: Come on Stan. If you catch me I'll do anything you want
(They chase each other around the bed)
STAN: Coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie coochie!
LALEEN: Help, help, the Kisme Kid Carver's after me!
STAN: Coming to getcha!
LALEEN: Save me! I'm so pretty and innocent!
STAN: Not that innocent
(He's getting worn out by this)
STAN: Oh, no no no no no. Enough, enough, enough, enough
(Stan sits down on the edge of the bed)
STAN: Look this, this is just a bad idea
(Laleen stands in front of him, puts her arms around his neck)
LALEEN: Oh - look at that. You caught me
STAN: Oh, lucky me!
(Laleen pushes him back onto the bed)
LALEEN: They say I'm nasty. Bad times nasty times grrrr
LALEEN: But they don't know the half of it
STAN: Oh, I'll find out the other half
STAN: What's wrong?
LALEEN: My pits!
(She rubs under her arm)
LALEEN: They reek!
STAN: Ooh! No, no, you smell fine, fine
(Stan tries to stop her, but Laleen gets up anyway)
LALEEN: It'll be better after a shower. Don't go away, Captain. I'll be right back
(She pushes him back down onto the bed, and walks away)
STAN: But I like a little aroma!
(Kanana is looking for Tad, and wanders into the galley)
KANANA: Tad? Tad, where are you? I'm ready to talk now, OK?
(Laleen is in the shower - but doesn't realise Kai is watching)
(Back in the galley)
KANANA: Show yourself!
(Kanana treads in some green goo, then sees the bowl. She picks it up and looks at the hole in the bottom. Some goo drops down on her face - then a foot drops down and kicks her head)
(Laleen is still in the shower. Stan fluffs his pillow, then lies down on his bed)
STAN: What is she doing in there?
(Then Laleen hears a voice - almost like Stan's)
LALEEN: Who's there?
KAI: The man who wants you
LALEEN: Stan, is that you?
KAI: Uh huh
LALEEN: No fair, I told you to wait
KAI: I tried, but you're so hot, so ripe and delicious. I want you now!
LALEEN: Talk like that will get you everywhere!
(Kanana leads Xev and Enox into the galley)
KANANA: I'm telling you the truth!
XEV: All right, all right
(They see Gibble's body hanging from the ceiling)
XEV: Oh no
KANANA: Who could have done this?
ENOX: My god - he killed himself
(Xev pushes at Gibble's foot. Something trickles down)
(In his bed, Stan checks himself )
STAN: Oh - ready
(Meanwhile, back in the shower)
LALEEN: Go back to the bed Stan - I'll be done in a minute
KAI: It's not Stan
(Laleen finally sees Kai, who glides towards her, hand outstretched. Shot of their shadows through a membrane as Kai pushes her head down. His head rips through the membrane)
(Xev, Kanana and Enox are now in the toilet. Tad's feet are sticking out above the rim)
KANANA: Tad, Tad!
ENOX: Gibble flushed the gongslanger root down the toilet. It got stoned, went nuts and killed Tad. Gibble blamed himself
(Kai walks away from Laleen's body)
XEV: So he gorged on food and then hung himself out of guilt?
ENOX: Gibble was a messed up fat man
(Then they hear Stan)
XEV: Let's go
(Kai is walking through passageway, grunting, and cracking his neck)
(The others find Stan in the shower, looking at Laleen's body)
XEV: Stan -
(He's shocked that Xev could even suspect him. Kanana looks at the body)
XEV: Who could have done this?
(Enox looks at the body, and realises what he's set in motion)
ENOX: Oh boy
(Stan grabs his shoulder)
(They are all in the cryochamber, looking at Kai's empty pod)
790: The programming has been completely corrupted
XEV: Kai is not Kai anymore
STAN: Who did you tell him to kill?
ENOX: Um - everybody
STAN: Everybody? Me and Xev, everybody?
STAN: Sorry?! Sorry?!
(Stan grabs Enox, but Xev separates them)
KANANA: Stop it, stop it, stop it! We're all gonna die!
(Kai is still wandering the passageways, muttering to himself)
KAI: Waking the dead assassin, what does it look like, what does it look like? Kill Tad. Rip into Gibble. Do Laleen. Kill everyone, man
(Back in the cryochamber)
KANANA: What do we do now?
ENOX: Don't you have any weapons?
STAN: He is an unstoppable killing machine, you little turd!
(Kai rolls on the ground, his hair falls over his face. He seems to be having trouble with his brace)
KAI: Stalk 'em and stuff. Be inventive, in cool ways. Have fun
790: Our only hope is for everyone else to offer themselves up for slaughter while Xev and I flee - Tweedle first
XEV: That's it
XEV: Kai can't control the Lexx. Our only hope is to abandon it. We have to get to a moth and then escape in your shuttle
KAI: Be sick
(Kai pulls the hair away from his face)
KAI: Kill the sanctimonious cow. Waste Enox. Kill Stan, Xev, everyone!
STAN: Well, let's get moving
XEV: And stay together
(They run out of the cryochamber)
KAI: Kisme Kid Carver! Kill, kill, kill! Inventive. Kill fast, slow, ripping the sick fuck - major psycho rampage
(Kai finally gets his brace to flick out)
KAI: Bitchin'! (laughs) Maggot retirement home!
(Kai fires his brace into the ceiling, and swings upwards)
(The others are running along a passageway - they can hear Kai behind them)
STAN: Come on
XEV: Don't stop, keep moving
KAI: Don't run away. Stick together!
(Kai dangles upside down behind Enox, and taps him on the shoulder)
KAI: Let's get wasted!
(Kai breaks Enox's neck. Kanana starts sobbing)
KAI: Nobody moves
XEV: Kai - it's me, Xev
KAI: Not for long
XEV: This isn't you Kai. You're not a killer anymore. The kids just woke you up wrong, that's all. You can fight it
STAN: They screwed up, but they don't deserve to die, we none of us deserve to die
KAI: Be sick, be imaginative. Kill them all - one at a time, in cool ways
KANANA: Don't kill me, mister!
KAI: Go on a major psycho rampage. Have fun
(Kai flips down onto the ground)
790: Xev - leave me. Run. Run for your life!
KAI: Listen to the robot
XEV: Stan, take Kanana. He can't follow both of us. Go!
(Stan takes Kanana. Kai sticks his tongue out at Xev, who throws 790 at him)
XEV: Kai -
(Xev runs. Kai looks at 790)
790: Promise you won't harm Xev
KAI: I don't make promises I can't keep
(Kai throws 790 to the ground)
790: Oh, the horror!
(Stan and Kanana are running to the moths)
KANANA: What are we going to do?
STAN: Don't worry, I'll get ya outta here. Come on
(Xev is running down a different passageway. Stan and Kanana make it to the moth breeding chamber. He bundles her into a moth)
STAN: OK? Now you take it
KANANA: I can't fly this thing!
STAN: You just work the joystick, it practically flies itself
KANANA: You have to come!
STAN: No, I've gotta go get Xev. We've got lots of other moths. Just get yourself to that shuttle - now!
(Stan shuts the door of the moth)
STAN: Now go!
(The moth takes off)
(Stan and Xev meet up on the bridge)
(On the view screen, they watch the moth fly away)
STAN: Oh good
XEV: Good job, Stan
XEV: Where's Kai?
(The moth is heading for the shuttle, and Kanana starts to relax - until a hand grabs her shoulder)
KAI: Hello, gorgeous. Going my way?
(Kai breaks her neck, and giggles)
(On the bridge, Stan and Xev hear Kai singing)
KAI: Yo A O, Hom Var Ray, Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G
STAN: Lexx - 60% magnification please
(The view screen shows Kai flying the moth - Kanana's feet are visible behind him)
KAI: Yo A Ra, Jerum Brunnen G!
STAN: Lexx -
KAI: I'm coming back!
STAN: - blow up that moth!
LEXX: As you command, Stan
(The Lexx powers up, and blasts the shuttle. Unseen, the moth escapes the blast)
XEV: I guess he's gone
(She moves to the pedestal)
STAN: Yeah. I'll get that
(Stan takes Tad's bag off the arm of the pedestal, puts it down on the deck)
XEV: Kai is gone!
(Xev sits at the base of the pedestal, looking down at the floor. Stan sits down on the deck, facing her)
STAN: Yeah. Xev - we had no choice
XEV: I know, Stan. Oh, Kai. Kai
(They haven't noticed, but Kai is on the bridge. Quietly, he takes a handy axe out of Tad's bag)
KAI: I have killed mothers with their babies
(Stan nearly jumps out of his skin, goes to the pedestal with Xev)
STAN: Lexx, I told you to blow up the moth!
LEXX: I'm sorry, Stan. I missed
KAI: I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors and revolutionaries. I have killed the good, the evil, the weak and the beautiful
(Kai points at the weak and the beautiful)
KAI: I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors - and apparently, the fun never stops!
(Kai waves the axe, and jumps down beside them. Stan and Xev scream, and hold each other)
KAI: Who's first?
XEV: No, me
KAI: Oh, this is sweet! Well, we'll just have to take turns. How about I take a little bit of each - and then a little bit more -
(Kai aims at Xev's breast)
KAI: - and then a little bit more -
(He aims at Stan's crotch)
KAI: - and more!
(Kai raises the axe, Stan and Xev cover their heads - )
( - and Kai freezes, axe raised above his head. Warily, Xev pushes him. He falls over backwards, rigid)
XEV: He ran out of protoblood
STAN: Good timing, Kai
(In the cryochamber, Stan adjusts the cryopod controls. Kai is in his pod, his hair back to normal. How? We'll never know)
STAN: This should get him back to normal
(Stan attaches the protoblood tube)
STAN: - Kai normal
XEV: I hope so. OK
(In goes the protoblood)
(Nothing happens. Then Kai wakes with a start, grabs them by the shoulders. 790 screams)
KAI: Be careful, how you wake me
(Kai almost smiles, then lies back in his cryopod. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief)