(Space. Stars are disappearing in the background. A huge spider creature drifts towards the Lexx. It has too many legs, with a sort of webbing between them, tentacles in the centre, and a spike)
(In the Lexx, Xev is in the shower. She finishes, and starts drying herself. A hatless Stan is nearby, crawling on his hands and knees, searching for something. He gets up, which is when Xev notices him)
STAN: Oh! Xev
XEV: What are you doing here?
STAN: I'm looking for my hat, what do you think I'm doing?
XEV: Well, I don't think you'll find it in the shower
STAN: Oh, that's great. I'm gonna die without my hat. I mean, we're all gonna die, but at least you guys will be dressed
(He suddenly notices that Xev is only wearing a towel)
STAN: Are you taking a shower?
XEV: What does it look like?
STAN: Well - actually, it looks pretty good
XEV: Turn around, please
STAN: Oh, yeah (he turns around) You know Xev, I could be the last living man in this universe. I mean, if I'm not now, I soon will be, right? So, er, you know, hmm?
XEV: The answer is no
STAN: Oh, come on Xev
XEV: It's not on Stan
STAN: Yes Lexx, I'm coming! Look, Xev, I don't wanna play games with you anymore. This could be the last chance for both of us
XEV: I know, but that doesn't change how I feel
STAN: Feelings? What, you're saving your feelings for a guy that doesn't even feel anything at all? I mean, I have feelings, real human feelings. Now just, just think about it Xev. In two days time we're gonna be at the centre of the universe, where we're probably gonna die, and if we don't buy it there, Mantrid gets us a few days later anyway. Look Xev, it's just me and you, we're it, we're all that's left
XEV: Two days left?
STAN: That's all, yeah that's all
STAN: Not now Lexx!
XEV: We'll talk again when it's down to one
(Stan looks at her)
STAN: OK. Good. Agreed. Fine
(The spider opens its legs, spreading the web, becoming almost invisible. The Lexx is heading straight for it. Stan walks onto the bridge - 790 is already there)
STAN: OK Lexx - what's up?
LEXX: I would like to change course
LEXX: I see a web, Stan
STAN: A what?
LEXX: A big web
LEXX: Straight ahead
(The view screen shows space - with just a faint outline of the web)
STAN: Well I don't see anything
LEXX: My eyes can see it. I'm afraid of webs, Stanley. They could have spiders on them
STAN: Lexx, Lexx, Lexx, Lexx, Lexx (he sits on pedestal) You are much too big to be worried about spiders - and if you can see so well, why don't you tell me where my hat is, all right?
LEXX: I would like to turn away, Stanley
STAN: Not until somebody tells me where my hat is!
(Stan crosses his arms and starts sulking)
LEXX: I must turn Stanley, before it is too late
(The spider's tentacles start twitching, and it becomes visible. Stan gets up on the pedestal)
STAN: Uh oh
790: Uh oh what? Uh oh what, Tweedle?
LEXX: I am going to hit the web, Stanley
(Xev and Kai come onto the bridge)
790: Do something!
STAN: Lexx - turn now!
(The Lexx turns, but is hit by a tentacle. The bridge shakes, and the crew stumble. The web closes around the Lexx, stabs it with the spike. The crew are tossed around, and there is a sound like rushing wind - Kai is blown into one passageway, 790 into another, Stan ends up on the toilet, and Xev lands on her bed. Tentacles start to snake inside the Lexx, looking at the crew. They ignore 790, and move onto Stan. One goes into his ear, another up his nose, while a third hovers in front of his face. Stan screams in pain, and passes out. More tentacles approach Kai and Xev, who are unconscious. The tentacles slip inside Kai's ear, nose, - and shudder. The web spasms, trying to pull loose. The other tentacles withdraw and Stan wakes, then goes into convulsions. The web seems to shrivel, totally enclosing the Lexx)
(Xev wakes up in her bed, looks around)
XEV: Stan? Kai? 790?
(She walks along a passageway, looking for the others)
XEV: Kai? 790?
(Xev sees 790 on the floor - he's switched off. She picks him up and shakes him)
XEV: 790? 790, talk to me. 790!
(She hits him, and he reboots)
790: Xev! Sweetness! Are you all right?
XEV: I'm fine - I think
790: How did I get here?
XEV: Your guess is as good as mine. I just woke up in my sleep chamber and I don't know how I got there either
790: I - I -
790: I've got a very bad feeling
(They go onto the bridge. The view screen shows static)
790: Xev - I remember sounds, images. I don't know what they mean, but I know that they are not good. I fear for you
XEV: Yeah, me too
(They can't see that the Lexx is still trapped in the web. Xev and 790 go into the cryochamber. Kai's cryopod is open and empty)
(Xev goes into the galley)
XEV: Somebody - here?
(She tries another passageway)
XEV: Where are you?
(Next Xev tries a passageway near the toilet)
XEV: Stan? Kai?
(She sees Stan slumped on the toilet)
XEV: Stan. Stan, wake up
(Xev puts 790 down and touches Stan's face, and notices the black ooze from his ear and nose)
XEV: Stan - ew! What is that stuff?
790: Security guard slime
(Xev pulls Stan's arms around her shoulders)
790: Don't touch him, Xev. Kill him
XEV: Be quiet 790, I'm not in the mood
790: I'm serious Xev - not that I didn't mean it before, but this time I really mean it. Something strange has happened to Tweedle. If he lives you will be in great danger
XEV: And how do you know that?
790: It's a robot intuition thing
XEV: I've never heard of robot intuition
790: It's real, Xev. I really have it!
(Xev picks 790 up, and drags Stan away)
(Elsewhere, Kai is standing in a passageway, with web filaments crystallised on his face)
(Stan is in a cryopod. Xev attaches cables to his fingers so 790 can examine him)
790: There is nothing wrong with him physically that I could determine, other than the obvious fact that he is completely and utterly repulsive in every way. However -
790: His brain seems to be switched off. There is no sign of any cognitive activity. Stanley Tweedle is effectively brain dead
XEV: Stan is dead? No
(She checks Stan's eyes)
790: Yes. Although his body seems quite alive. I would like to point out that for Stanley Tweedle, being brain dead is not a particularly significant change of state from normal
XEV: Keep at it 790. We have to find out what's wrong with him, and you have to do your best
790: Where are you going?
XEV: To see what's happening outside
(Xev leaves the cryochamber)
790: Please Xev - stay with me, and stay alive
(Xev takes a moth and tries to fly outside, but the orifice won't open)
XEV: Please Lexx, open! I need to get out and see where we are
(There's no response. The Lexx is still in the web, and Kai is still unconscious in the passageway)
(Xev returns to the cryochamber)
XEV: Learn anything?
XEV: Well, I don't know what else to do, so I'm going to try this
(Xev holds up two electrical cables)
790: Yes! Let's electrocute Stan!
XEV: It might do something
790: Oh, it will. A few thousand volts will fry the rest of his nervous system and shut his decaying corpse down for certain. I recommend it highly
XEV: Don't you feel anything for Stan?
790: Only utter contempt. All my positive feelings are reserved for you, bowl of perfection
(Xev looks at the cables)
XEV: I don't want to kill Stanley, I just want to jump-start his brain
790: It's a win-win situation, Xev. Either Tweedle awakes and you're happy, or he dies and I'm overjoyed
(Xev holds the cables near Stan's face. Electricity crackles)
790: Yes, that's it - let him have it!
790: It's just electrical interference. Don't stop
(Outside the Lexx, the web twitches. Stan wakes up, oozing at the mouth, and tries to speak)
STAN: Cu - (he falls back)
790: It's just random synapses firing. Ignore it and give him the juice!
XEV: No, he's trying to say something
STAN: Cu.. cor.. Kai
XEV: Stan, Stan, what are you saying?
STAN: Cu...cor.. Kai
XEV: Stan. Slowly. Take your time and tell me
STAN: Cu... Kai
XEV: Did you say - Kai?
STAN: Cu cor Kai
XEV: Call Kai?
790: Cut cord?
XEV: Cut cord to Kai?
STAN: Res.. yes
XEV: Stan - Stanley! Stan, I don't know where Kai is. Can you tell me?
STAN: Pa... sage. Passage
STAN: Main gang... gang... ganglion. Parallel passage
XEV: I can't understand you
790: I can. He is referring to a passage that runs parallel to the Lexx's primitive primary ganglion
STAN: Res, res, yes
(He seems to focus, leans forward)
STAN: Hurry - it's killing us
XEV: What Stan, what is killing us? Stanley, what's killing us, tell me!
(Exhausted, Stan slumps back into the cryopod, unconscious. Xev puts her head to his chest and listens)
XEV: He's still breathing
790: That's unfortunate
(Xev and 790 are now in the passageway)
790: We should abort this mission, return to Tweedle and kill him without delay
XEV: You're not being helpful
790: Think about it, Xev! Tweedle, a know nothing moron, first makes the unlikely observation that the Lexx's primary ganglion is parallel to this passage, and then relays that information to us in a state of apparent brain death! Don't you find that strange?
XEV: You always underestimate Stanley
790: It's a trick. A Tweedle trap!
XEV: Shh! Kai? Kai!
(She sees Kai by the wall, his face covered with filaments)
(She puts 790 down and goes over to Kai)
790: Be careful Xev
XEV: Kai, what happened to you? What is this thing?
790: No, don't touch him - he could be dangerous!
XEV: What do you want me to do, leave him like this?
790: Always choose the robot over the dead man
XEV: OK, Stan said to - cut the cord
(Xev snaps the top part of the cord leading down to Kai's face. Kai wakes up. Outside the Lexx, the web springs back into life. In the cryochamber, Stan wakes up, looking sinister. Kai pulls the filaments off his face and throws them onto the floor, where they disintegrate)
KAI: How did I get here?
XEV: You tell me
KAI: You do not know?
XEV: No. Stan told me where you were - actually, he told me to find you and cut the cord
KAI: Where is Stanley?
(In the cryochamber, Stan is twitching and making a chittering noise. He hears the others arriving, and pretends he's just woken up)
STAN: Oh, Xev. Kai. Robot
(Xev starts removing the cables from Stan)
XEV: Are you - OK?
STAN: Yes. I'm fine. How are you? (chuckles) How'd I get here?
XEV: I dragged you here from the toilet
KAI: 790 said you were brain dead
790: And I stand by it
(Stan touches the ooze on his chin)
STAN: Ugh! Somebody tell me what's going on
(They all move out into the passageway. Stan is stroking his hair in a distracted manner)
XEV: So how did you know where Kai was?
XEV: Well, you directed us to him
STAN: I did what?
XEV: You don't remember?
XEV: You told me to cut the cord, do you remember that?
STAN: Cut the what?
XEV: Let me understand this. None of us has any memory of what happened, right?
KAI: The last thing I recall before you revived me was standing on the bridge when we struck the anomaly
STAN: Me too
790: Darling - something is not right here. I intuit it with every connection I possess
(Behind them, Stan makes a chittering sound. They all head onto the bridge)
XEV: The screen
KAI: What about it?
(The view screen shows empty space. Hidden behind the pedestal, Stan is twitching)
XEV: It was totally blank. I tried to take a moth out to check things outside, but the orifice wouldn't open
(Stan gets up onto the pedestal)
STAN: Lexx (his voice is - wrong) Where are we?
LEXX: We are one and a half day's journey from the centre of the universe, Stan
STAN: And what happened when we hit that big web thing?
LEXX: I was caught in it for a while, but I was able to work my way out, and I feel better now
STAN: Is that all?
LEXX: I - I feel much better now
STAN: See? There
KAI: Ask the Lexx if he sustained any damage
(Stan doesn't look happy at this)
STAN: Lexx - did you sustain any damage?
LEXX: No, Stan
KAI: Perhaps as we approach the centre of the universe, the greater uncertainty principle is starting to take effect
STAN: Oh well, well that's just great
790: We're not there yet, so it should not be affecting us. What is absolutely certain is that we are being affected by the Tweedle incompetence principle
XEV: That's enough, 790
(Stan looks up at the bridge ceiling, smiling to himself)
790: He stood there! All he had to do was turn the Lexx, and he just stood there waiting for someone to find his stupid hat!
XEV: 790, that's enough Stan abuse for now, and that's an order
(Stan stops smiling, puts on an apologetic face)
STAN: I'm sorry
XEV: Forget it (to Kai) So, if the greater uncertainty principle isn't what affected us, then - what did?
(Stan looks up again, and smiles. Kai takes 790 from Xev, and they leave the bridge. Stan starts chittering, and the view screen flickers with purple/white/green squares)
(Later, in the cryochamber, Xev and Stan watch Kai probe 790, who plays back garbled sounds from the scene on the bridge when they hit the web)
XEV: So why do you imagine 790 couldn't trigger his own short term memory circuits?
KAI: Yet another mystery
(A strange sound echoes in the cryochamber, like wind rushing, chittering)
XEV: What was that?
STAN: I don't know what I was thinking
XEV: I said forget it, Stan
790: Eyes. Playback, eyes
(Stan chitters quietly. Kai turns 790 around. 790's eyes project an image of the web, of them being tossed around the bridge - then it goes blank. )
XEV: That's completely scary
STAN: So, what now?
(Later, all in the galley. Stan hands Xev a bowl of food. She throws it to the ground, puts her head on her hand)
XEV: It's all too creepy!
790: I agree
STAN: Look, it's only a day and a half until we reach the centre of the universe, and I don't think that we should leave the bridge unmanned until we get there, I mean, we gotta be prepared to act fast in case anything else weird happens
XEV: Good idea
790: Don't listen to him. He's proven that he's incapable of acting at all. And whatever's got us has still got him. He can't be trusted
STAN: Give me a break, will ya!
XEV: Lay off, or I'll put you in storage
(Stan pats Xev's arm)
STAN: Look - I'll take the first shift. I mean, I owe you that. You go get yourself some sleep
XEV: Yeah, I'm actually pretty tired
(Xev hands Stan a bowl of food)
XEV: Aren't you?
XEV: All right then
(Xev takes 790 and leaves. Kai goes to follow)
STAN: Kai? What's on your mind?
KAI: What's on my mind is what's missing from it
STAN: Yeah, me too, I hear ya pal. You know, I wouldn't have frozen up if I had my hat, I mean, didn't you ever freeze up when you were alive?
(Kai leaves. Stan sniffs the food, chitters, pulls a face, and throws it away)
(Xev is in bed, sleeping, but still hears a noise. Stan is on the bridge, chittering. 790 wakes up)
790: Wake up! Wake up, Xev
(Xev wakes with a start and sits up in bed)
(On the bridge, Stan hears Xev approaching. He realises his nose is oozing, so he gets down from the pedestal and runs into the other passage)
XEV: Stanley! Stanley. Stanley?
(Xev comes onto the bridge. Stanley comes back from the other passage, wiping his nose)
XEV: I thought you were going to stay on the bridge
STAN: I was, until I heard that noise - scared the pants off me!
XEV: Yeah. I heard it too, and so did 790, that's why I came down
STAN: Yeah. I think it came from up there
(Stan points to the ceiling, high above the pedestal)
XEV: I don't know
STAN: I've been working on an idea. I got it from watching the dead guy with the robot. Watch
(He points at the view screen, wipes his nose again)
STAN: Lexx - where am I now?
LEXX: On the bridge, Stan
STAN: And what am I doing?
LEXX: Standing there with the woman
STAN: Right. Where did I come from?
LEXX: A passageway
STAN: Which one?
LEXX: I can't remember
STAN: Well - sometimes he can't remember, but - Lexx, show us, walking onto the bridge just now
LEXX: As you command, Stan
(The view screen shows Stan and Xev walking onto the bridge)
STAN: OK Lexx. Now - show us what happened when you hit that big web
LEXX: As you command, Stan
(Xev watches the screen, which just shows static. Stan chitters)
STAN: He can do it, I mean, I know he can
(Xev pats Stan's shoulder and walks away)
STAN: OK, Lexx - one more time
(Stan wipes his nose, watches Xev go, then makes chittering noises again)
(Outside, it's clear that the Lexx is still trapped in the web)
(Later, everyone is on the bridge. Stan is on the pedestal, looking smug)
STAN: Well, Lexx may not be very smart but he gets there eventually - don't ya Lexx?
LEXX: I do as you command, Stan
STAN: Thatta boy. Everybody ready?
(Stan gets down and joins the others)
790: Cut the ceremony and get on with it Tweedle - and don't think I'm falling for your little parlour game. I know you're both evil and possessed by something beyond evil!
STAN: Yeah. OK Lexx - show us what you got
(The view screen plays back the image of them encountering the web, up to the moment the spike stabbed into the Lexx - then it goes blank. Stan watches the others watch the screen)
STAN: And that's when the Lexx went blank too
790: That doesn't tell us much. What about all the things that happened after? Tweedle's directions to Kai, and the filaments in Kai's face. This cut the cord business, and those strange noises I heard. The only notion I accept in all this is that our captain can walk around when he's brain dead. I'm not satisfied!
XEV: I think we are lucky to be still alive
KAI: Some of us
STAN: You know, much as I hate to admit it, I think the robot may be right. It doesn't add up. So, what do you say we try to take another look outside, yeah?
(They all get in a moth, and fly to the orifice)
STAN: Lexx, open up, can you hear me?
(But the orifice stays shut. Stan grabs the joystick, turns the moth around. They go back to the bridge, where the view screen now shows static)
XEV: Oh, I don't understand this
STAN: Lexx - show us what you see outside
(But the view screen still shows static)
XEV: Stanley. When the Lexx sees something, what happens to it? I mean, the image that appears on its eyes, where does it go?
STAN: There (points at screen) KAI: Lexx has many eyes
(They take a moth to a small passage, full of pinkish formations, like stalagmites)
KAI: If I am able to successfully attach 790 into one of these optic nerves we can perhaps intercept a visual signal from the Lexx
(Kai sticks his hand through a membrane, pulls out some nerves and connects them to 790. There is a sound like wind - Stan is chittering again)
XEV: Must be the right one
(A breeze blows Xev back against the wall)
XEV: What was that?
790: I don't know - but the Lexx is not happy
KAI: Look into 790's eye screens
(The screens show filaments over the eyes)
STAN: Is that what the Lexx is seeing?
KAI: Out of this particular eye, yes. Clearly the Lexx never broke free of the web. It's controlling him
STAN: Maybe it's alive or something
KAI: It's smart. I'd say it almost got us, but it was interrupted by something
XEV: So, why isn't it controlling us?
790: Clearly it is - Tweedle at least. Kill him immediately, Kai
STAN: Maybe, when whatever it is got into Kai, it got screwed up or something
XEV: Because Kai turned out to be dead
KAI: And it had an adverse reaction to my non-living state, so it couldn't properly function again until the cord connecting it with me was severed
XEV: And it must have controlled you Stan, at least for a while. That's why you knew where Kai was
STAN: Yeah, probably. I mean, I wasn't in control of myself
KAI: This thing seems to need a direct connection to the web. It must have a line right into Lexx's brain
XEV: Just like it tried to get with you Kai - and with you
(Xev looks at Stan. The breeze blows again)
KAI: Lexx's brain is nestled above the bridge. That is where we will locate whatever is controlling him
(From outside, it's clear that there are tentacles connected directly into the Lexx's head. Inside, the crew fly the moth back towards the bridge)
STAN: This is no ordinary beast, that's for sure. I mean, faking images, and using Lexx's voice, and that projection - I thought I was getting some answers, I was just being manipulated!
KAI: We're all being manipulated
790: We still are - by Tweedle
XEV: Oh, give us a break 790, OK?
STAN: Oh, it's clever. It's very very clever
(Stan grins. They all walk onto the bridge)
KAI: It must be somewhere up there
STAN: We'll never see it in that mess
(They all look up at the ceiling - there's a chittering noise)
XEV: I can see it. It's there (she points) Cut the cord, Kai!
(The huge spider thing tries to hide in the shadows above the pedestal, but Kai fires his brace. Stan pulls Xev down into the well beside him, so she's not squashed by the creature as it falls to the floor)
STAN: Are you OK?
XEV: Yeah. Stan, try again
XEV: Tell the Lexx to fire
(Stan gets up on the pedestal, activates the template - the view screen is now showing the web)
LEXX: Yes, Stanley?
STAN: Fire, Lexx! Break out of the web, now!
(The Lexx powers up, blasts. Bits of the web's legs break off in smoking chunks. Stan sways, and gets down from the pedestal. The Lexx flies away, as the web explodes in flames)
(Later. Xev and Kai are in the cryochamber)
XEV: So, if anything can happen at the centre of the universe, maybe there's even a chance that you could come back to life there
KAI: Perhaps that would be possible - or perhaps impossible. It is unknowable. I suspect you are more likely to find death, than I am to find life
KAI: Life is a harder state to achieve than death
XEV: Let's just say that we get there. I survive and you become alive. Would you - welcome it?
KAI: I do not know. I would have to be alive to think that way, and I am not alive
XEV: OK - but if you did become alive again, and if you were thinking and feeling like a living person again, would you then - welcome it?
KAI: I do not know
(Xev turns away from him, then turns back)
XEV: Did anyone ever tell you that you are the most frustrating man alive - I mean, not alive?
XEV: You are. And if the universe is really coming to the end, then maybe I should just - let Stanley have me
KAI: Stanley would welcome the opportunity
(Xev nods, and walks away. Kai just stands there)
(On the bridge. Xev sits on the pedestal, sees something underneath, pulls it out - it's Stan's hat)
XEV: 790? You were on the floor. You could have seen it
790: I had no interest in seeing it, woman who commands all of my attention. Tweedle deserved no assistance from me
(In the cryochamber. Kai gets into his cryopod, Stan operates the controls)
STAN: Night Kai
KAI: Goodnight Stanley
(The cryopod closes)
(On the bridge, Xev watches the stars on the view screen)
XEV: How long now until we reach the centre of the universe?
790: 1 day, 2 hours, 13 minutes and 11 seconds, love pumpkin
XEV: I'm kind of tired myself. I think - I'll lie down for a while
790: I will be your pillow
XEV: No you won't. You will keep watch for me
(Xev picks 790 up, puts him on the pedestal)
790: Xev darling, please! My robot intuition is acting up again, and I don't like what it's telling me!
(Xev goes into Stan's bedchamber - he hears her, and pretends to be asleep)
STAN: Oh! Xev, what are you doing here?
XEV: Oh, you know -
STAN: What's wrong?
XEV: I'm just afraid of what might happen when we get to the centre of the universe
STAN: So am I
XEV: Maybe there's another option for us
STAN: I wish there was. I can't see it. It's scary
(Stan sits up. Xev walks to the foot of the bed, so doesn't see the creepy expression on his face)
XEV: We'll find a way out of this, won't we? Right?
STAN: Yes. Yes we will. If anyone can do it, it's us
(Xev turns away, touches her face with Stan's hat)
STAN: Is there something else you wanted to talk about?
(Xev hides the hat behind her back, and looks at him)
XEV: Well, it's only one day now until we reach the centre
STAN: That, that it is
XEV: And -
XEV: And I thought you might like me to -
STAN: To what?
XEV: Give it to you
(She smiles. Stan chuckles, and sits up straighter)
XEV: After all, it means so much to you, and I wouldn't want you to go without it, seeing how there's only so little time
STAN: So little time. So little time
(Stan closes his eyes, puckers up - and Xev holds out his hat. Stan opens his eyes, sees the hat - then he knocks it aside, and grabs Xev by the throat)
(On the bridge, 790 screams. The sound echoes all the way to the cryochamber. Kai's cryopod opens, and he gets out)
(Meanwhile, back in Stan's bedchamber - )
STAN: What's the matter?
XEV: What are you doing? Don't!
STAN: Too late
(He pushes her back onto the bed)
STAN: You said you were going to give it to me
XEV: I did, but I meant -
STAN: Well, give it to me, you will, I'm gonna consume you Xev
XEV: No, Stan!
STAN: No, not "No, Stan". It will happen
XEV: What will happen?
STAN: You will give it to me
XEV: No, Stan!
(He is choking her. Kai and 790 arrive)
STAN: I too must run from Mantrid. You will be my new host, and take me to the centre of the universe
(Stan's mouth opens - and lots of tentacles come out, reaching for Xev. Kai's brace grabs Stan by the neck and pulls him back against the wall. Stan is holding onto the brace cord, snarling)
790: I told you he was evil!
STAN: I have your captain. If you harm me, I'll kill him
790: What are you waiting for, Kai? Rip his head off, kill them both!
STAN: I'm in his brain. I'll kill him
KAI: What do you want?
STAN: I want to live
XEV: You're a disgusting parasite
790: That's what I've been saying since the day we met
STAN: I want to live, no more. Not like you. You almost killed me when I touched your brain
XEV: Kill it Kai
KAI: It is inside Stanley, so I will have to kill him first
STAN: You won't kill your captain, so you won't kill me
XEV: How can you be so sure?
STAN: Because you're human!
KAI: I will do as you request
STAN: If you kill me, you won't be able to control the Lexx (smiles) 790: The Lexx will go to the centre as instructed
XEV: You're right, whatever you are. The human in me wouldn't kill Stan - but I'm half Cluster lizard, and Stan is already dead, so kill it Kai!
(Stan snarls - and a spider creature jumps out of his mouth. It bounces off Kai and scuttles down the passage. Stan slumps to the ground)
XEV: Where did it go?
(They look around. It is on the floor by 790. Kai fires his brace, but it jumps into a hole in the wall)
(Xev dives for it, but misses. The creature jumps into Stan's bed. Kai fires again, misses again. It runs back down the passage - and Xev squashes it with her boot)
790: Good one, oh she of the gorgeous gams!
(The creature dissolves. Xev smiles. Stan groans)
STAN: Oh, ow, oo (feels his head) Uh - where's my hat?
(All back on the bridge. Xev presents the hat to Stan)
STAN: My hat? That's my hat! It's my hat, my hat, oh boy, oh yeah, it's my hat, oh!
(He kisses it, puts it on, and hugs Xev. She helps him adjust it)
XEV: You don't wanna know where it was?
STAN: No, no, no, no, no. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. It's on my head and everything is just fine
KAI: Not for long
(He is watching stars on the view screen)